Christmas Cohmpetition submission by Paul from England:

Rejected by gnohm

There once was a young man from Rohm
Who thought he’d write a flash pohm
He wrote the first stanza,
with sheer eleganza
and thought that he’d produce a tohm

The second verse floh’d from his dohm
through the hair that did not need a cohm
as the fur was so sparse
to brush was a farce
and the skin was all shiny like chrohm

The third felt just like coming hohm
though he knew it was likely to bohmb
though doggerel it were
he felt it was pure
and scribbled it down with aplohmb

He read it to his garden gnohm
who buried himself in the lohm
saying “oh god my head
tell the earthwohrms instead
cos you’ve quite worn out your welcohm”

This submission for the Christmas Cohmpetition was sent by V.C. from Greece.

Les amants de petit four

I shall see you after Christmas
when the twinkling lights have stopped
at the alley where the choir boys
have woven hymns of Ohm

And we’ll walk along the graveyards
sharing symptohms side by side
with the long departed craftsmen
that committed ohmicide

Then we’ll dye our hair with stardust
write some farewell cards to post
please don’t throw away the garbage
let’s recycle and cohmpost.

Dine our hearts out at the Bellevue
and neglect this sheer douleur
It is meant, we can’t escape it
a so called Ohm-Force Majeure

Now the wines have turned to acid
and our laughter’s turned to fuzz
hope they’ll write it was some poison
not the long expired frohmage

Hi there Ohm Force! My name is Federico Pezzotta and this is my work for the Christmas Cohmpetition 2010. Being born in Italy, I tried to pay a little tribute to Dante Alighieri (that guy was an awesome writer..) : I borrowed the rhyme scheme and metrics from his Divine Comedy and wrote 33 lines in triplets. In case you don’t know the story of that poem, a little introduction: As in the Divine Comedy, figure Dante walking through Hell (and further on Purgatory and Paradise) guided by the roman poet Virgil, crossing the different Circles where the damned atone their earthly sins..

The  Distorted  Circle   (a Divine Cohmedy)

This  path  across  the  Hell  is  taking  further
My  knowledge  of  the  human  soul  and  vices,
This  burden  I  must  carry  upon  my  shoulders

For  task  I  took  it  leaves  no  compromises
And  I  have  to  proceed  along  my  way.
The  Circle  I’m  approaching  for  the  eyes  is

Not  terrible  to  bare  as  I  must  say,
My  ears  instead  are  left  in  dread  and  fright
For  hearing  such  a  furious  frantic  fray.

“It’s  time  to  be  prepared  and  step  inside”
The  Guide  who  leads  me  through  the  Hell  declares
Then  steadily  I  follow  his  advice

And  here  is  what  I  observe  and  want  to  share:
A  crowd  of  souls  unbodied  is  attending
This  massive  rush  of  sound  filling  the  air

And  pressure  waves  like  brass  chains  never  ending
Entangles  them.  No  chance  they  can  take  rest.
Inside  the  Circle,  pumping  glowing  bending

Nine  phantoms  wearing  masks  and  as  for  vest
Bright  flames  of  different  colours  wrapped  around.
From  them  the  noise  is  gushing  at  its  best:

Vibrations  cutting  through  the  space  rebounds
Detuned  dephased  delayed  in  braided  streaks
“What  was  their  guilt?  Who  could  conceive  these  sounds?”

I ask,  hence  my  Guide  turns  to  me  and  speaks:
“They’re  here  for  denying  nature  of  the  tones
Which  God  created  first  so  pure  and  meek,

For  breeding  sounds  that  rip  flesh  to  the  bones,
For  giving  voice  to  inner  human  yell.
Native  to  Gaul,  doomed  to  this  land  of  moans”

And  shows  me  the  way  out  meanwhile  he  tells.
Thus  I  can’t  shirk  my  duty  and  walk  ahead,
But  never  will  forget  that  sonic  spell.